Shrill Morton Is Smart

Shrill Morton, Rogers Park's answer to Steve Jobs, is wondering if the destruction of the Adelphi Theater has contributed to an increase in crime in the neighborhood. You should listen to what Shrill is saying. He's a pretty on top of it guy. Crimes have been committed in Rogers Park. The fact that crimes have been committed in Rogers Park means that crime rates are going up. Let's say that in 2005 six people were murdered in Rogers Park. In 2006 four people were murdered. That means the murder rate is ten. If two people were murdered in 2007 then the crime rate has soared to 12. The empty Adelphi theater was torn down and all these crimes were committed after it was torn down so its destruction has contributed to an increase in crime in Rogers Park.

If you really want to see Shrill in action call up his employer, Johnny Quest Network Services. They're a local business that is struggling like all business in Rogers Park. They operate out of a messy storefront on Sheridan Road. Their service is showing neighborhood residents how to turn on their computers and read my blogs. Shrill will come to your house and show you how to turn on your computer if he's not busy taking pictures of poo and graffiti for his blog.

Watch Out Hommies! Shrill Has Got A Gun

Pay attention hommies, hoodlets and bangers. Your days are numbered. Our own Shrill Morton has got a gun.

Check out my other blog. I've got a great picture of Shrill proudly showing off his new gun. What a man. You may think Shrill Morton is a total loser. He "works" for Jonny Quest Network Services, a company which specializes in showing the residents of Rogers Park how to turn on their computers and read my blog. When he's not taking pictures of lazy city laborers who share his work ethic his "work" day consists of walking around sticking advertising cards on all of the abandoned, stolen or about to be repo'd cars which litter the mean streets of Rogers Park. Despite all his efforts (or lack thereof) he can't afford a better neighborhood than Rogers Park. Shrill is an angry and bitter person. I know him well . We're regular drinking buddies at the Oasis.

Well, Shrill is feeling a bit better about himself. He now has a gun, some cool leather gloves and a picture on my other blog. Way to go Shrill!