You're Not Heartless Bastards, Right?

That headline is a direct question from mentally challenged 49th Ward voter Amy Carlson. Any doubts that she's the dumbest person on the planet should be erased by this question. Of course Tomblogger Womannis and I are heartless bastards. That's why everyone reads my blog. How could you ask such an obvious question?

Let me spell it out for you Amy Airhead. My blog readers like to pretend that they are all high minded and are reading my blog to get important news stories about Rogers Park that aren't covered elsewhere. Well, in case you haven't noticed my "news" stories are either wild distortions, outright lies, material plagiarized from other sources or so biased as to be useless. No, the reason why my readers come to my blog is to laugh along with me at hapless targets such as yourself. Anyone who legitimately cares about the neighborhood in which they live would not be giving me encouragement to continue blogging by leaving comments thanking me for the great service I perform for the community. Amy Honey, my readers are even more heartless than I am.

Moreover, my readers are as stupid as they are mean and bitter. If you look at my other blog you will see how I am now holding you hostage to David FAGus coming clean over this case of electoral fraud. Either FAGus admits he is a criminal or you continue to get sprayed with the contents of the exploding septic tank that is the blogs of Rogers Park on a daily basis. And you know what? It's going to work. It may seem obvious and perverted to you but can you imagine some mindless piece of fluff like Jostle_Lynn or a pompous buffoon like Laura Loserzader seeing through it? You'll see Tomblogger Eastgard and Tomblogger Womannis kissing passionately before that happens.

Tomblogger Eastgard is a moron but he's right about one thing. In a few short days all of your supporters will have forgotten you and will be back to singing my praises as I blog the "important news stories" that are nothing more than an excuse to swing sucker punches at the new Amy Carlson du Jour.

Cheers!

Grammar Lessons For Stupid People Of Rogers Park

Rogers Park is a neighborhood full of idiots. Joe NoMooreFoieGras is the alderman. His ward is home to a military hating lawyer. We're home to Amy Carlton. She's the country's stupidist voter because she called me a drunk and the "Morse Asshole" after she admitted that an election judge told her that a pen contained invisible ink. You all need an education and I am going to give it to you. We are going to start with English grammar because it's a basic skill and I am an expert on it being a world famous journalist and the publisher of Hey Chicago magazine.

I am going to show you some examples of my brilliant writing from my other blog (which would be studied along with Shakespeare in the schools of Rogers Park if Joe NoMooreFoieGras was doing his job right).

If you want to insult someone say "You are a idiot!" This is correct English grammar. If any of the stupid teachers in the schools of Rogers Park tell you it's not you let me know so we neighborhood bloggers can insult them on our blogs.

It is important to use complete sentences. An example of a complete sentence is "A functioning brain.". This is something Amy Carlton doesn't have but I do. I am brilliant which is why the herd of bleating sheep who read my blogs are always praising me on my blogs.

There you have your English lesson for the day. It's way better than anything you will learn in the schools of Rogers Park. I hope you learned something. If you want to learn more read this blog and my other blog every day.