Friday, January 4, 2008

Sleazy Purveyor Of Gay Pornography Finds Social Respectability

Yes, I am talking about myself. You all know me as Rogers Park's most intelligent, influential, respected and widely read blogger but in Conservative American until a few days ago I was nothing but the publisher of that notorious advertising vehicle for prostitutes, Hey Chicago magazine, and as a vendor of gay pornography. I would have remained that way had local ambulance chaser Jay Grodner not keyed the shinny black BMW of heroic marine Sergeant Mike McNulty but he did. It seems Fat Ambulance Chaser Jay Grodner lacks proper appreciation for the heroism of our brave men in uniform. Insults were exchanged, police were called, complaints were made and court dates were set. This all would have been the minor matter of a street side dust up had Hero Sergeant McNulty not seen fit to do what he did which is go to the blogs.

Sergeant McNulty, one of our great American Heros, who hasn't managed to defeat the Taliban, find any of Iraq's purported weapons of mass destruction or capture Osama Bin Forgotten but who has bashed plenty of Hadjis and Dune Coons and struck heroic poses for the Fox News cameras ran whinning to the right wing blogs who were quick to spread his story. As soon as I got word of this I was hard at work on my other blog. I was telling everyone what a scum bag ambulance chaser Jay Grodner was. I was insinuating that it was Alderman NoMooreFoieGras's opposition to the invasion of Iraq that moved Jay Grodner to key Hero Sergeant McNulty's car. I was busy posting Jay Grodner's nudie pics and Internet sex ad (next time solicit for sex on the back pages of Hey Chicago magazine -- I promise I will keep it quiet). I was busy telling all my loyal toadies that the Alderman is responsible for everything that goes on in his ward. I've got no idea who Fat Naked Ambulance Chaser voted for in the last election or even if he voted at all but can you imagine people like Jostle_Lynn, Stinkjar or ProArtillary giving a shit? They never question anything I have to say. Anyway, I am being perfectly reasonable. One of our Anti-war Alderman's constituents damages a military man's vehicle. Jay Grodner, living in a ward under the control of Joe NoMooreFoieGras, a known anti-military politician, defaces a military mans vehicle. Is this what all military personal can expect when venturing into Joe NoMooreFoieGras country? Has Joe NoMooreFoieGras created a hate in Rogers Park towards military personal? You can be sure he has.

Anyway, the upshot of this is FreeRepublic.com (a bastion of hate directed at the sexual orientation of the readers of my Hey Chicago magazine) and assorted right wing blogs have picked up on my blog and I am famous and adored. After years of being bashed for running a business that caters to the sexual tastes of homosexuals I've got respect I deserve.

Sergeant McNulty -- you are a true American hero. If you want to strike a really heroic pose I would be happy to photograph you wearing nothing but your dog tags and USMC tattoos for the centerfold of my Hey Chicago magazine. It's a fabulous chance to be featured in the most widely read alternative lifestyles magazine in Rogers Park. How can you resist?

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I am no fan of Joe Moore, nor do I support the notion of vandalizing property over a disagreement (political or otherwise).

But here's what I find offensive about your writing on Grodner's vandalism: You equate a position against the Iraq War with Grodner's moronic behavior. That is an insult to me.

Braig Gernliver said...

Avid is a cowardly cur. How dare you insult me by disagreeing with me on my own blog. You keep doing this and you will be banned from my blogs and all the blogs of my toadies and then what will you do? You stop and think about what life would be like without the neighborhood blogs.

I've got a rule here. You want to post and you don't like something I have to say you give your full name, address, phone number, social security number, all bank account numbers, height, weight, hair color, eye color and the name of your first grade teacher. If you want to post and are applauding the things I say and do and bash the people I say you should then you can do so annonymously using a handle like "jocelyn", "INKJAR", or "progun".

Braig Gernliver said...

And a PS to you Avid -- your IP address has been recorded. We know where you are. Right now uber-toady reader Stinkjar is heading to local Marine Corps hangout, Jarheads, to round up some of the finest specimens of manhood at have ever existed and he and his Marine Corps buddies are going to be coming to pay you a visit. You're going to be sorry you ever messed with this hardass blogger.

Toto said...

Briag you blithering fool. How dare you refer to Avid as a cur. I am the cur. I am the only cur.

Kiss my (_(_). Why don't you take a IED and hold it between your knees.

Craig Gernhardt said...

Ambulance Chaser Calls Joe Moore Suck-Up A Emotionally Wreck.

Toto said...

Looks like Braig is using his "way back" machine.

Tom Womannis said...

I can't believe it. No life guards at Loyola Beach today.