Tuesday, February 12, 2008

You're Not Heartless Bastards, Right?

That headline is a direct question from mentally challenged 49th Ward voter Amy Carlson. Any doubts that she's the dumbest person on the planet should be erased by this question. Of course Tomblogger Womannis and I are heartless bastards. That's why everyone reads my blog. How could you ask such an obvious question?

Let me spell it out for you Amy Airhead. My blog readers like to pretend that they are all high minded and are reading my blog to get important news stories about Rogers Park that aren't covered elsewhere. Well, in case you haven't noticed my "news" stories are either wild distortions, outright lies, material plagiarized from other sources or so biased as to be useless. No, the reason why my readers come to my blog is to laugh along with me at hapless targets such as yourself. Anyone who legitimately cares about the neighborhood in which they live would not be giving me encouragement to continue blogging by leaving comments thanking me for the great service I perform for the community. Amy Honey, my readers are even more heartless than I am.

Moreover, my readers are as stupid as they are mean and bitter. If you look at my other blog you will see how I am now holding you hostage to David FAGus coming clean over this case of electoral fraud. Either FAGus admits he is a criminal or you continue to get sprayed with the contents of the exploding septic tank that is the blogs of Rogers Park on a daily basis. And you know what? It's going to work. It may seem obvious and perverted to you but can you imagine some mindless piece of fluff like Jostle_Lynn or a pompous buffoon like Laura Loserzader seeing through it? You'll see Tomblogger Eastgard and Tomblogger Womannis kissing passionately before that happens.

Tomblogger Eastgard is a moron but he's right about one thing. In a few short days all of your supporters will have forgotten you and will be back to singing my praises as I blog the "important news stories" that are nothing more than an excuse to swing sucker punches at the new Amy Carlson du Jour.

Cheers!

4 comments:

Braig Gernliver said...

And Amy Honey, another thing. The word is "Your". Learn how to type you big retard.

Amy said...

Well, at least now I know. Thank you, Braig!

Tom Womannis said...

Eastgard is one of the most reviled men on the north side of Chicago. because he was copied on cry-baby Amy's e-mail to Braig and myself. Weeping Amy should know that when she e-mails people as important as Braig or myself, that all e-mail should be kept Top Secret. Doesn't she know that terrorist wannabies like Obama might be tapping our phones, reading our e-mail or checking to see what books we buy or take out from the public library with secret warrants. Who cares that her mother's sick. It's not about her or her mother. It's about me.

With people like Eastgard and Cry-baby Amy leading the charge, Rogers Park is on the brink of near collapse. But never fear, I will be the one to save us!!!

You know that I am a "conservative," for lack of a better term; In fact I'm so conservative I even hate Ron Paul. Just give me Anne Coulter, a loaded semi-automatic and a carton of Marlboros.

But the revolution is nearly here. I need to stop Godless, pro-evolution, liberalism. So I will hit harder than I have previously with actual truth. And only I know what truth is. No sanctuary for the bastards, no quarter, no mercy. I hope you enjoy the fireworks.

You may wish to publicly distance yourself from me. I know I reek because I refuse to bathe in floridated water and my personal grooming habits have slipped. Wake up your fellow Democrats to the threat from the Lunatics. The Soviet Union came to be in a quick and brutal revolution.

The revolution that is happening right now, right beneath our noses, is being sold to us with a dash of granola, sex and fear of polar bear extinction. It scares the hell out of me, and I pride myself in not being a paranoid. It is painful to see so many around me, blind to that which is so obvious, perhaps to obvious that it goes unnoticed by the masses. The People need a cold bucket of water in their collective face. It is not too late. But the moment of no return is but moments away.

(some stuff you just can't make up)

(o)(-)

DorothyParker007 said...

I think I saw an image of Amy in my burnt toast. Was that magic or a miracle?