My BFF, Tomblogger Womannis, were talking last night over drinks at the Oasis. Of course the shootings at Northern Illinois University came up. Tomblogger is furious because these liberal tree hugging politically correct colleges don't have armed guards in every class room, metal detectors at every entrance and they don't let the law abiding students carry AK-47 assault rifles. He's almost as angry about this as he is about Heather Steans keeping him away from some free booze when she kicked him out of her dismal victory party.
I told Tomblogger that this is no different than one of Joe NoMooreFoisGras neighborhood propaganda meetings. There's no armed guards. There's no metal detectors. Me and Womannis aren't allowed to execise our constitutionally guaranteed right to come in with grenade launchers. Our lives are in danger. We're pretty outraged about it.
We got on the phone real fast with neighborhood security experts ProArtillary and STINKJAR. They hurried over to the Oasis to join us for an important meeting on improved security and community meetings. We drafted a security plan that will protect the safety of important neighborhood bloggers and their loyal toadies when coming to Joe NoMooreFoieGras's super dangerous community propaganda sessions. We want armed guards from Blackwater World Wide, background checks, body cavity searches and every law abiding citizen required to be packing heat. Now none of this is going to happen until Joe NoMooreFoieGras' dictatorial regime is overthrown so in the interim Me, Womannis, STINKJAR and ProArtillary are going to form an armed security detachment to protect the lives of Rogers Park residents at community meetings. We're open to any other gun totting citizen who wants to join us. Anytime there's going to be one of Joey's community propaganda meetings we'll grab our guns and meet two hours beforehand at the Oasis to review the security plan for the meeting.
The lives of the residents of Rogers Park are now safe!
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19 comments:
You know what would make the world really safe is if we require everyone to wear a bomb vest, each with a big handle on the back that sets it off.
Hey Eastie, did you like that little "dog" turn that Womannis left in the snow pile outside your office?
Wonder why these guys spent over 45 minutes on my blog hunting info on Tommy?
Maybe they're suing him?
Or thought about hiring him until they saw his lame credentials.
www.fgpp.com
Crushing bugs - one at a time.
Ha Braig!
Your bullets and grenade launchers are no match for Joe NoMooreFoieGras's strategically placed ice puddles!
You know, his name could be Militannis.
Womannis is perfect, what?
Maybe we should call you Unimpressedgard.
Eastgard, you liberal whelp, get it right!
Gernhardt-Mannis? The Ger-Man axis of Rogers Park...
Correction:
Craig Gernhardt - Tom Mannis:
The "Greater Internet Dickwad(s)" Axis of Rogers Park,
John Gabriel's Greater Internet Dickwad Theory
The People's Revolutionary Party of Rogers Park (PRPRP) failed in our our first attempt at taking a political prisoner last Saturday. Unfortunately, that idiot Rene Camargo overslept and missed his appointment with destiny. And while semi-public officials like Rene sleep in, cozy in their politically correct down comforters with white cotton duvet covers, the Suicide of the West marches every closer.
The PRPRP has committed its first act of Revolution. We have blasted to smithereens a water main to show our defiance against the cruel authority that threatens us all with ruinous peril daily. The flooding streets should bring out most of the commie rats like Michael (a.k.a. Malishnikov) James. We know for the past year he's been serving up all the leftover food donated to that slimy liberal Jim Gindersky aldermanic campaign. Malishnikov funnels the money to his merry band of athiest, semi-retired, beatnik, marxist cohorts.
Braig, has documented the chaos created in alleys by our enemies. For those who believe their secret agendas and scare tactics on the effects of global warming, you only need to see one poor third world cabbie after another struggling against the nearly invincible ice flows, to know that its going to take hell to freeze over before I will bend-over to their propaganda. Its fucking cold out here. What is all this crap about global warming?
The revolution is coming sooner than you think.
It's Poodles. Time for some Poodlings.
I see Phughy has a new blog. Ooops, not a new blog. He's got admin rights to post on Braig's blog. What's a matter Phughy, since the never read Forum 49 shut down, you must feel soooo lonely.
Who the hell cares about your crappy statisics garnered from web sites nobody else looks at. I really don't care who donated to someone 5 or 10 years ago. I'm bored.
Speaking of bored, hey Braig, you don't have to sit day after day all alone in your condo. Poor Braiggy, listening to his police scanner and watching cars get stuck in his alley. There is treatment for Agoraphobia, its called: "Get out of your condo once in a while and quit your whining and complaining."
Braig hates condo developers who convert brick courtyard buildings. Hmmmm. Wonder what kind of building you live in Braig?
What's wrong with Eastgourd all of sudden? We hear his dog is still crapping at least once daily. Why isn't Womannis documenting it? Oh wait, he's too busy documenting the Suicide of Western Civilization. First things first, he's got to pick on defenseless handicapped people who dare to park their cars on the street. Once we get rid of them we can go after the real scourge facing our country, fellow travelers and socialists who will soon be retiring droves and joining AARP. Those commie pinkos are just waiting to join the Social Security and Medicare gravy train.
Speaking of stench and decay... Womannis when are you going to see a dentist?
We're getting ready to celebrate Jostle_Lynn's two month anniversary next week. In Rogers Park that means you get frozen dog turds on your parkway. Your choice brown or black.
Lastly, Amy. What can I say. You snookered everybody with your 'poor me' complaints. Don't you know it really was a magic pen. You just didn't know how to use it. If you had only taken the magic mushrooms the night before, you wouldn't have been up so damn early to vote. By 10 a.m. you still wouldn't of cared whether the f'n pen wrote or not.
(o)(-)
Once the revolution starts, the first thing I'll do is shut down that crappy little community newspaper the News Star.
Imagine the West Rogers Park Community Organization inviting Dan Haley and Lorraine Swanson to speak at the Rogers Park Library while I, the sixth most influential blogger in the entire State of Illinois is shunted to the side.
I am a citizen journlist. And because I wasn't invited to share the podium, free press is under attack.
The People's Revolutionary Party of Rogers Park [PRPRP] will not stand for this liberal left wing newspaper's agenda. We will be protesting with our video cameras outside the library on Thursday March 6th.
Gerlardo Rivera and myself will be reporting for FOX News. Bill O'Rielly and I will be tying the rope for the lynching party (should it be proven that they say anything worth lynching them for).
I am waiting for a Pulitzer Prize for my latest Red-Line train video. I can't see how it could lose. Watch my riviting interview with the ex-con, begging on the train. The judges will be floored with my keen journalist eye for detail, especially when they hear how I put my life at risk to obtain this absolutely sensation piece.
Hey Wommanis, perhaps you can be White House photographer when McCain gets elected. Afterall, you have plenty of experience taking pictures of pieces of shit.
I saw Tom Womannis the other day. He was wearing his Get Smart trenchcoat and his Dick Tracy two way wrist radio. I think he also had is Little Orphan Annie de-coder ring.
I followed him surreptiously for a while, waiting to see what he was up to.
At first I thought... hmmm...
Was he was waiting for the alien flying saucers to land on Sheridan road... Because he just hates illegal aliens that park their saucers in handicapped zones....
Was he was hot on the trail of some semi-retired commie, pinkos... Because he knows they are going to rob Bill Buckley's grave and descrate his body....
Did his plan to bring a little bit of the farm back to the city turned sour... because the 4-H leader wouldn't let him use Braig as a pony-boy....
Was his cause célèbre in defense of the News Star by imaginary attackers... just a farcicle ploy to draw attention to is weak and silly blog postings....
Oh, well. Who cares. He still looks stupid.
So...
Anyone seen Braig?
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Webcam, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://webcam-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
I think Braig has left the neighborhood.
I pronounce this blog dead, on May 20th, 2008. God rest his/her/its soul.
Wow. I hear Braig had a nervous breakdown.
Nervous breakdown & death pronouncements?
There isn't any 'Braig'
or if
there is a 'Braig' then this enigma
is all of us.The uni-collective.
IOW: if you want another post from The BLORP you just might have to conceive and execute the post yourself.
where are you braig?
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