(Part 3 0f 3)
Here's the last installment of when me and some of the other neighborhood bloggers told ace Sun Times reporter, Ditzy McTrixie, what a mouldering pile of garbage our neighborhood is.
I sat in the decidedly non-Starbucks ambiance of Cafe Ennui. I reflected on what a sad and boring life these poor Rogers Park people must have living in their hellhole without a Starbucks or even a Caribou Coffee to bring some joy into their dreary lives. But I don't want to conclude this story without trying to bring a glimmer of hope so I asked the four bloggers what they hope to accomplish by blogging.
Briag Gernliver stated that "My primary goal is to get as much attention as possible. Everyone should be looking at me because I deserve it. And, well, I've been pretty successful at that. My blogs are the most read ones on the planet. And when I get bored with blogging about Rogers Park I just might move elsewhere and blog about what a hellhole my new neighborhood is. My blog is really pretty generic. Its all about saying bad things about where I live and I can easily translate it to a new community and bash that community too."
Tomblogger Womannis's goal is to become an important figure in the national Republican party. He's hoping to be the next Carl Rove. He hopes that his blog will catch the attention of party leaders. "If W, Rudy, Arnold, Ann, Rush and Rupert see what a hellhole I live in they're sure so realize what a bad-ass dude tough guy I am and deem me worthy for a national post in the party. I'd never lower myself to taking some unimportant local post. I'm going for the top." declared Womannis.
Jostle_Lynn said "I really don't hope to accomplish anything with my blog. I just started it because everyone else had one so I thought I should too. I don't post much to it and not many people read it which is as it should be. I spend way more time posting comments on Braig's blog and that is the one people should be reading. Everyone should read Braig's blog at least 10 times a day."
Shrill Morton's response to my query was "You want me to have a goal? Why should I have a goal? No way! My old girlfriend was always after me to do things like get a real job and have a goal and I told her to go to hell. Bitch."
Braig concluded our interview by saying that "It's great that you've come up here to let us talk about how much we hate where we live. That will show Joe NoMooreFoieGras. It's wonderful that you let me be the voice of Rogers Park because, while most of the pikers here have never heard of me I deserve to speak for the community because I just do."
That's Ditzy's article for you. How much do you want to bet the Joey isn't going to do anything to fix the stuff we complained about? How much do you want to bet that he didn't even read the article?
Showing posts with label Chicago Sun Times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chicago Sun Times. Show all posts
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Chicago Sun Times Interviews Rogers Park Bloggers
(Part 2 of 3)
Here's the continuation of when I enlightened ace Sun Times reporter, Ditzy McTrixie, as to the horrid conditions we live in here in Rogers Park.
My first question for the four bloggers gathered at Cafe Ennui is why they live in Rogers Park? After all, while not everyone can live in Lincoln Park Chicago does have the more democratic, working class neighborhoods of Lakeview, the South Loop, Wicker Park and Bucktown. Why not move? Why live in a neighborhood where you are so miserable?
Braig was the first to speak (a condition of my interviewing the four is that Braig would always have the first and last words). "Well Ditzy. I live here because I am a public spirited sort of guy. My parents left me a nice trust fun. I can afford to live anywhere I want but I live in Rogers Park because people here need me. I moved up here a few years ago to tell the people who live here what a hell hole their neighborhood is. If it wasn't for me they'd never know that. There was this old community forum, Forum 49, and I was on there night and day shouting down everyone and anyone and fighting the good fight against new businesses that wanted to be an asset to the community like Cafe Suron and the Morseland. Then I decided to start my own blog so my many fans could have the benefit of reading what I have to say without the distraction of the opinions of Joe NoMooreFoieGras's lackeys, who are anyone who disagrees with me. I own Hay Chicago magazine but I don't devote much effort to it. My life is Rogers Park, my blog and telling everyone what a hell hole they live in. That's my mission in life and that is why I am here".
Shrill Morton was more concise. "I live here because its dirt cheap. I can't afford better. I ask my boss at Jonny Quest Network Services for more money but he laughs at me and tells me to stop taking pictures of the lazy city workers at the corner of Sheridan and Chase. He says I'm no better than they are and I should do some work myself before asking for a raise. The guy won't cut me a break. He thinks I should be working all the time. When's a guy supposed to find time to take pictures of graffiti and poo for his "Rogers Park in One Trillion Words" blog? When's a guy supposed to find time to comb his long, flowing tresses other than during the work day? I'd like to live in Lincoln Park right next to you* but not if I have to kiss The Man's ass. I have principles".
Tomblogger Womannis declared that affirmative action is the problem. If it wasn't for these liberals giving all the jobs to unqualified ethnically diverse people he could get the high paying job he deserves and move to a nice gated suburban community with his fellow Republicans. In the mean time he lives in Rogers Park and is proud if it. "Make no mistake, this is a rough, dangerous 'hood. I'd like to see some pussy liberal live here. A liberal wouldn't last 10 seconds here. I've never been a victim of a crime while here. It's not because the danger of Rogers Park is grossly overstated. It's because I am tough, bad ass Conservative and the hoodlets know they better not mess with me"
Finally, Jostle_Lynn spoke and her story almost broke my heart. "Ditzy, I live here because my boyfriend Steve is lazy and worthless. He said we'd live here for a couple of years, fix up this two flat, flip it and use the profits to move to Lincoln Park or Naperville. But that didn't happen. All he does is spend every evening sitting in his boxers in front of the tv scratching himself and watching ESPN when he could be out trying to hustle up some more money. I don't know what to do. I told him I wouldn't have sex with him until he moved me out of Rogers Park but his response was 'Is that a promise?'. Mom and Dad stopped giving me money years ago. One day they said '35 years of financial support is more than enough'. I am so depressed".
I couldn't help but reflect on the good fortune in my life. Mummsy and Popsicle are so generous. A Sun-Times paycheck just doesn't cover all the necessities in life. There's basics like a down payment on a Lincoln Park condo (good girls can't live just anywhere), a new SUV every other year, memberships at the East Bank Club, a thrice daily trips to Starbucks , twice weekly trips to Whole Foods, regular evenings in the Lincoln Park bars and Saturday night slumming in Wicker Park. Someday I'll marry a nice freshly minted partner in a major law firm or a financial services consultant and I won't need them anymore but for now its a great comfort to know that I, unlike poor Jostle_Lynn, come from a caring, loving family.
*Fat chance loser! If some dorky computer geek like you so much as sets foot on my block my boyfriend Chad and all his old frat brothers will kick your ass so fast you'll wish you'd chosen the option of licking the floor of the Jarvis Avenue El station instead.
Check back soon. I'll be posting more of ace reporter DitzyMcTrixie mindlessly scribbling down anything I have to say.
Here's the continuation of when I enlightened ace Sun Times reporter, Ditzy McTrixie, as to the horrid conditions we live in here in Rogers Park.
My first question for the four bloggers gathered at Cafe Ennui is why they live in Rogers Park? After all, while not everyone can live in Lincoln Park Chicago does have the more democratic, working class neighborhoods of Lakeview, the South Loop, Wicker Park and Bucktown. Why not move? Why live in a neighborhood where you are so miserable?
Braig was the first to speak (a condition of my interviewing the four is that Braig would always have the first and last words). "Well Ditzy. I live here because I am a public spirited sort of guy. My parents left me a nice trust fun. I can afford to live anywhere I want but I live in Rogers Park because people here need me. I moved up here a few years ago to tell the people who live here what a hell hole their neighborhood is. If it wasn't for me they'd never know that. There was this old community forum, Forum 49, and I was on there night and day shouting down everyone and anyone and fighting the good fight against new businesses that wanted to be an asset to the community like Cafe Suron and the Morseland. Then I decided to start my own blog so my many fans could have the benefit of reading what I have to say without the distraction of the opinions of Joe NoMooreFoieGras's lackeys, who are anyone who disagrees with me. I own Hay Chicago magazine but I don't devote much effort to it. My life is Rogers Park, my blog and telling everyone what a hell hole they live in. That's my mission in life and that is why I am here".
Shrill Morton was more concise. "I live here because its dirt cheap. I can't afford better. I ask my boss at Jonny Quest Network Services for more money but he laughs at me and tells me to stop taking pictures of the lazy city workers at the corner of Sheridan and Chase. He says I'm no better than they are and I should do some work myself before asking for a raise. The guy won't cut me a break. He thinks I should be working all the time. When's a guy supposed to find time to take pictures of graffiti and poo for his "Rogers Park in One Trillion Words" blog? When's a guy supposed to find time to comb his long, flowing tresses other than during the work day? I'd like to live in Lincoln Park right next to you* but not if I have to kiss The Man's ass. I have principles".
Tomblogger Womannis declared that affirmative action is the problem. If it wasn't for these liberals giving all the jobs to unqualified ethnically diverse people he could get the high paying job he deserves and move to a nice gated suburban community with his fellow Republicans. In the mean time he lives in Rogers Park and is proud if it. "Make no mistake, this is a rough, dangerous 'hood. I'd like to see some pussy liberal live here. A liberal wouldn't last 10 seconds here. I've never been a victim of a crime while here. It's not because the danger of Rogers Park is grossly overstated. It's because I am tough, bad ass Conservative and the hoodlets know they better not mess with me"
Finally, Jostle_Lynn spoke and her story almost broke my heart. "Ditzy, I live here because my boyfriend Steve is lazy and worthless. He said we'd live here for a couple of years, fix up this two flat, flip it and use the profits to move to Lincoln Park or Naperville. But that didn't happen. All he does is spend every evening sitting in his boxers in front of the tv scratching himself and watching ESPN when he could be out trying to hustle up some more money. I don't know what to do. I told him I wouldn't have sex with him until he moved me out of Rogers Park but his response was 'Is that a promise?'. Mom and Dad stopped giving me money years ago. One day they said '35 years of financial support is more than enough'. I am so depressed".
I couldn't help but reflect on the good fortune in my life. Mummsy and Popsicle are so generous. A Sun-Times paycheck just doesn't cover all the necessities in life. There's basics like a down payment on a Lincoln Park condo (good girls can't live just anywhere), a new SUV every other year, memberships at the East Bank Club, a thrice daily trips to Starbucks , twice weekly trips to Whole Foods, regular evenings in the Lincoln Park bars and Saturday night slumming in Wicker Park. Someday I'll marry a nice freshly minted partner in a major law firm or a financial services consultant and I won't need them anymore but for now its a great comfort to know that I, unlike poor Jostle_Lynn, come from a caring, loving family.
*Fat chance loser! If some dorky computer geek like you so much as sets foot on my block my boyfriend Chad and all his old frat brothers will kick your ass so fast you'll wish you'd chosen the option of licking the floor of the Jarvis Avenue El station instead.
Check back soon. I'll be posting more of ace reporter DitzyMcTrixie mindlessly scribbling down anything I have to say.
Chicago Sun Times Interviews Rogers Park Bloggers
(Part 1 of 3)
Ace Chicago Sun Times Reporter Ditzy McTrixie ventured into the hell hole last week to interview Rogers Park's leading bloggers. Of course this included me. Google has been a real boon to me. Rather than doing any research, when lazy reporters want to write on Rogers Park, the do a quick search on Google. My blog comes up. They send me an email and we're off and running. Anyway, here's excerpts from Ditzy's article.
Recently, on a mild October night I left the comfort and safety of my Lincoln Park home to pay a visit to one of the less frequented and less fortunate quarters of the city, the far northern neighborhood of Rogers Park. I grabbed my iPhone, my Apple Powerbook and a venti Starbucks (which I am sure no one in Rogers Park has ever heard of), jumped into my Chevy Tahoe and headed north. I reached the designated meeting spot, Cafe Ennui, on Sheridan Road. The neighborhood did not strike me as safe for walking around in (I saw some "ethnic diversity") and, unlike Lincoln Park, there was no valet parking so I left my trusty Tahoe in the middle of Sheridan Road*, and went in.
Was I glad I brought some Starbucks with me! Cafe Ennui is not part of a national chain. We'd certainly never have such a place in Lincoln Park. What a site. Sprawled out all over were old hippies and beatniks, sipping espresso, reading Jean-Paul Sartre (who I was forced to hear about when I took elementary French at Northern Illinois U.), smoking, typing away on non-Apple brand laptops and wearing berets. There I was welcomed by four of Rogers Park's leading bloggers, Braig Gernliver, Tomblogger Womannis, Jostle_Lynn and Shrill Morton.
Braig is the most important blogger in Rogers Park and maybe the whole world. He's the publisher of Hay Chicago magazine, the number 33 ranked alternative lifestyles publication in Chicago. Tomblogger doesn't work ("Affirmative action keeps me from getting that job I want. That and some post-traumatic stress conditions from when I fought side by side with Rush Limbaugh in 'Nam."). Shrill Morton works for Jonny Quest Network Services, a local business which shows the people of Rogers Park how to turn on their computers. Jostle_Lynn has the closest to a normal job of any of the four. She works downtown in an "office job" but she assures me that "a bunch of silly things like answering phones and filing papers" doesn't keep her away from the primary focus of her day, posting comments on Braig's blog telling him how great he is and what a wonderful service he provides for the community.
When our series returns these four bloggers will be telling us what a hellhole Rogers Park is and how their blogs provide a wonderful service to this poverty stricken third world slum on Chicago's northern border.
*If the Sun Times won't pay my tickets daddy better. His Princess doesn't walk anywhere she doesn't want too.
As you can imagine, I had lots of wise and insightful things to say to Ditzy McTrixie. Check back later when I will be posting parts 2 and 3 of her interview with Rogers Park's leading blogger and his friends.
Ace Chicago Sun Times Reporter Ditzy McTrixie ventured into the hell hole last week to interview Rogers Park's leading bloggers. Of course this included me. Google has been a real boon to me. Rather than doing any research, when lazy reporters want to write on Rogers Park, the do a quick search on Google. My blog comes up. They send me an email and we're off and running. Anyway, here's excerpts from Ditzy's article.
Recently, on a mild October night I left the comfort and safety of my Lincoln Park home to pay a visit to one of the less frequented and less fortunate quarters of the city, the far northern neighborhood of Rogers Park. I grabbed my iPhone, my Apple Powerbook and a venti Starbucks (which I am sure no one in Rogers Park has ever heard of), jumped into my Chevy Tahoe and headed north. I reached the designated meeting spot, Cafe Ennui, on Sheridan Road. The neighborhood did not strike me as safe for walking around in (I saw some "ethnic diversity") and, unlike Lincoln Park, there was no valet parking so I left my trusty Tahoe in the middle of Sheridan Road*, and went in.
Was I glad I brought some Starbucks with me! Cafe Ennui is not part of a national chain. We'd certainly never have such a place in Lincoln Park. What a site. Sprawled out all over were old hippies and beatniks, sipping espresso, reading Jean-Paul Sartre (who I was forced to hear about when I took elementary French at Northern Illinois U.), smoking, typing away on non-Apple brand laptops and wearing berets. There I was welcomed by four of Rogers Park's leading bloggers, Braig Gernliver, Tomblogger Womannis, Jostle_Lynn and Shrill Morton.
Braig is the most important blogger in Rogers Park and maybe the whole world. He's the publisher of Hay Chicago magazine, the number 33 ranked alternative lifestyles publication in Chicago. Tomblogger doesn't work ("Affirmative action keeps me from getting that job I want. That and some post-traumatic stress conditions from when I fought side by side with Rush Limbaugh in 'Nam."). Shrill Morton works for Jonny Quest Network Services, a local business which shows the people of Rogers Park how to turn on their computers. Jostle_Lynn has the closest to a normal job of any of the four. She works downtown in an "office job" but she assures me that "a bunch of silly things like answering phones and filing papers" doesn't keep her away from the primary focus of her day, posting comments on Braig's blog telling him how great he is and what a wonderful service he provides for the community.
When our series returns these four bloggers will be telling us what a hellhole Rogers Park is and how their blogs provide a wonderful service to this poverty stricken third world slum on Chicago's northern border.
*If the Sun Times won't pay my tickets daddy better. His Princess doesn't walk anywhere she doesn't want too.
As you can imagine, I had lots of wise and insightful things to say to Ditzy McTrixie. Check back later when I will be posting parts 2 and 3 of her interview with Rogers Park's leading blogger and his friends.
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