Chicago Sun Times Interviews Rogers Park Bloggers

(Part 3 0f 3)

Here's the last installment of when me and some of the other neighborhood bloggers told ace Sun Times reporter, Ditzy McTrixie, what a mouldering pile of garbage our neighborhood is.

I sat in the decidedly non-Starbucks ambiance of Cafe Ennui. I reflected on what a sad and boring life these poor Rogers Park people must have living in their hellhole without a Starbucks or even a Caribou Coffee to bring some joy into their dreary lives. But I don't want to conclude this story without trying to bring a glimmer of hope so I asked the four bloggers what they hope to accomplish by blogging.

Briag Gernliver stated that "My primary goal is to get as much attention as possible. Everyone should be looking at me because I deserve it. And, well, I've been pretty successful at that. My blogs are the most read ones on the planet. And when I get bored with blogging about Rogers Park I just might move elsewhere and blog about what a hellhole my new neighborhood is. My blog is really pretty generic. Its all about saying bad things about where I live and I can easily translate it to a new community and bash that community too."

Tomblogger Womannis's goal is to become an important figure in the national Republican party. He's hoping to be the next Carl Rove. He hopes that his blog will catch the attention of party leaders. "If W, Rudy, Arnold, Ann, Rush and Rupert see what a hellhole I live in they're sure so realize what a bad-ass dude tough guy I am and deem me worthy for a national post in the party. I'd never lower myself to taking some unimportant local post. I'm going for the top." declared Womannis.

Jostle_Lynn said "I really don't hope to accomplish anything with my blog. I just started it because everyone else had one so I thought I should too. I don't post much to it and not many people read it which is as it should be. I spend way more time posting comments on Braig's blog and that is the one people should be reading. Everyone should read Braig's blog at least 10 times a day."

Shrill Morton's response to my query was "You want me to have a goal? Why should I have a goal? No way! My old girlfriend was always after me to do things like get a real job and have a goal and I told her to go to hell. Bitch."

Braig concluded our interview by saying that "It's great that you've come up here to let us talk about how much we hate where we live. That will show Joe NoMooreFoieGras. It's wonderful that you let me be the voice of Rogers Park because, while most of the pikers here have never heard of me I deserve to speak for the community because I just do."

That's Ditzy's article for you. How much do you want to bet the Joey isn't going to do anything to fix the stuff we complained about? How much do you want to bet that he didn't even read the article?

Chicago Sun Times Interviews Rogers Park Bloggers

(Part 1 of 3)

Ace Chicago Sun Times Reporter Ditzy McTrixie ventured into the hell hole last week to interview Rogers Park's leading bloggers. Of course this included me. Google has been a real boon to me. Rather than doing any research, when lazy reporters want to write on Rogers Park, the do a quick search on Google. My blog comes up. They send me an email and we're off and running. Anyway, here's excerpts from Ditzy's article.

Recently, on a mild October night I left the comfort and safety of my Lincoln Park home to pay a visit to one of the less frequented and less fortunate quarters of the city, the far northern neighborhood of Rogers Park. I grabbed my iPhone, my Apple Powerbook and a venti Starbucks (which I am sure no one in Rogers Park has ever heard of), jumped into my Chevy Tahoe and headed north. I reached the designated meeting spot, Cafe Ennui, on Sheridan Road. The neighborhood did not strike me as safe for walking around in (I saw some "ethnic diversity") and, unlike Lincoln Park, there was no valet parking so I left my trusty Tahoe in the middle of Sheridan Road*, and went in.

Was I glad I brought some Starbucks with me! Cafe Ennui is not part of a national chain. We'd certainly never have such a place in Lincoln Park. What a site. Sprawled out all over were old hippies and beatniks, sipping espresso, reading Jean-Paul Sartre (who I was forced to hear about when I took elementary French at Northern Illinois U.), smoking, typing away on non-Apple brand laptops and wearing berets. There I was welcomed by four of Rogers Park's leading bloggers, Braig Gernliver, Tomblogger Womannis, Jostle_Lynn and Shrill Morton.

Braig is the most important blogger in Rogers Park and maybe the whole world. He's the publisher of Hay Chicago magazine, the number 33 ranked alternative lifestyles publication in Chicago. Tomblogger doesn't work ("Affirmative action keeps me from getting that job I want. That and some post-traumatic stress conditions from when I fought side by side with Rush Limbaugh in 'Nam."). Shrill Morton works for Jonny Quest Network Services, a local business which shows the people of Rogers Park how to turn on their computers. Jostle_Lynn has the closest to a normal job of any of the four. She works downtown in an "office job" but she assures me that "a bunch of silly things like answering phones and filing papers" doesn't keep her away from the primary focus of her day, posting comments on Braig's blog telling him how great he is and what a wonderful service he provides for the community.

When our series returns these four bloggers will be telling us what a hellhole Rogers Park is and how their blogs provide a wonderful service to this poverty stricken third world slum on Chicago's northern border.

*If the Sun Times won't pay my tickets daddy better. His Princess doesn't walk anywhere she doesn't want too.

As you can imagine, I had lots of wise and insightful things to say to Ditzy McTrixie. Check back later when I will be posting parts 2 and 3 of her interview with Rogers Park's leading blogger and his friends.