Poop Scoop Scofflaw Outrages Rogers Park Residents

Every decent and sane person in Rogers Park is outraged by the activities of Poop Scoop Scofflaw, Tomblogger Eastgard. The internet almost crashed under the weight of outrage directed at Tommyblogger. Here's a few things people had to say.

Sandy Duncan wrote:
"So it's justifiable for storefront [Tomblogger Eastgard] to lurk (not participate) at neighborhood walks and give his skewed perceptions and sling his tirade of racist labels at people? More of the old 'do as I say but not as I do' mentality. That twit must think he's Tomblogger Womannis who heroically lurks around "peace" demonstrations in front of the Heartland Cafe and calls the fire department to extinguish their candle light vigils. Well Tommyblogger, you are not Womannis so its not acceptable! (If I was there you would see me shaking my finger at you)"

Jostle_Lynn wrote:
"Well, what have you got to say for yourself, you scofflaw? Don't tell me that Womannis is lying and you really did scoop your poop. A picture of your dog taking a dump is all the proof I require. Tomblogger Womannis is a person of unimpeachable credibility. Forget that incident last year where he stuffed flyers for Braig's 'Broken Liver' blog into the free newspapers and then accused Braig of stealing advertising. Womannis has seen the light, is now totally loyal to Braig and is therefore incapable of uttering anything that is untrue."

Some Alderman NoMooreFoieGras loving twit named Mark Fletcher came onto my other blog to accuse local hero Tomblogger Womannis of being a crazy stalker and to take him to task for not telling "Eastie" to pick up his shit. Look at the classy way that Womannis put that twit in his place:
"You're a real idiot. You asked, 'did Mannis not immediately challenge him? Why did he have to wait to post it on a blog?' In case you couldn't tell, I was across the street. Are you advocating running after people to challenge them to pick up after their dogs? And you have a problem with me posting a photo of a public figure breaking the law? You need to get your priorities straight, bozo."

I bet that stupid twit Fletcher is too stupid to realize that Womannis and Eastgard know each other from when they worked on the Ginderske campaign. Womannis could have easily called out across the street in a neighborly way but he didn't. Womannis has his priorities in the right place and knows that it is way more important to post a picture of Tommyblogger's pit bull taking a dump on his blog and claim it proves "Eastie" doesn't pick up his dog's shit.

Blognotes: Jostle_Lynn is on her honeymoon but is calling me up several times per day to shout "One! Two! Three! Four! Who is it that we adore! Braig! Braig! Braig!" Jostle_Lynn is delighted to be part of a wonderful caring community of bloggers like Sandy Duncan, Tomblogger Womannis and of course me! She thinks everyone else in the vast hell hole of Rogers Park is total scum.

Poop On The Parkways

Congratulations to my new BFF, Tomblogger Womannis who was a true hero this weekend.

My archenemy and rival blogger, loser divorced store front ambulance chaser Tomblogger Eastgard, thought we neighborhood bloggers would be a little less vigilant this weekend. He thought that we would all be away this weekend enjoying the Jostle_Lynn's wedding. He didn't count on Womannis.

I knew that "Eastie" would try and pull some shit this weekend so I dispatched my former worst enemy and new best friend to tail The Miserable Storefront Lawyer. Womannis was ultra-vigilant. He skipped Jostle_Lynn's wedding and instead kept after "Eastie" night and day. He followed him to the supermarket and recorded the contents in his shopping basket. He spied through Eastgard's windows. We now know that "Eastie" has hemorrhoids (he was seen purchasing Preparation H), is on the small size in the manhood department, and pees in the shower. Womannis even slept in the snow like a bum in front of Eastgard's doorway. Well, his dedication paid off. On Saturday morning Womannis caught "Eastie" letting his vicious pit bull take a dump on the parkway and not clean it up. He's even got pictures to prove it and posted them on his blog. I now have them on my other blog and you can see them there.

Now, some of you may be inclined to ask a few stupid questions. You may say "How does this prove 'Eastie' didn't pick up the pit bull poo? I see a picture of a defecating pit bull but it doesn't prove that it's owner didn't scoop the poop." You might ask something really idiotic like "I see poop on the parkway so someone is not cleaning up but how do I know it came from Tomblogger's pit bull?" Well, you idiots need to read and learn.

We Rogers Park Rage Bloggers are people of unimpeachable dedication and integrity. Last fall when a riot was tearing up Morse Avenue Womannis ventured into the frey to make one of Joe NoMooreFoieGras's goon squad (aka the Chicago Police Department) look foolish on camera. A couple of months ago when an email which was critical of us local bloggers and which claimed authorship of a fifth rate parody blog arrived in the inboxes of the local bloggers from one "Kelvin O" Womannis immediately "knew" that the message was from none other than Joey's stooge Kelvin O'Neil and quickly published the location and phone number of Kelvin's office so that his readers could harass Kelvin at work. If Womannis says "Eastie" didn't pick up the poop then he didn't pick up the poop.

Tomblogger Eastgard is a crazy psychopath who stalks us bloggers night and day. He reads our blogs at least 40 times an hour. He has no less than 1,536 blogs of his own all of which are dedicated to our activities. What a loser. This man needs to get a life and a pooper scooper.