Michael James Persecutes Community Leader

It’s early on a Saturday night but I’m back home and revenge blogging already.

Usually I spend my evenings at the Red Line Tap telling that obnoxious Brattly about good music. For the benefit of those of you who just found out about my important blogs from the flyers I left on your cars and in the neighborhood newspaper boxes let me tell you about Brattly and the Red Line Tap.

Brattly is an obnoxious twit who used to post on my blogs until I banned him for being an obnoxious twit and maybe even a Joe NoMooreFoieGras supporter. When he’s not being obnoxious on my blogs he books “talent” for the Red Line Tap. This establishment is next to the infamous hippie hideaway; the Heartland Café. They have live music there almost every night. Brattly thinks he’s hot stuff because he thinks the bands they have are the latest and greatest. They have folk music. They have punk music. They have a bluegrass band appearing every week called “Sexfist”. What sort of band would call themselves “Sexfist”? It sounds more like a service you’d see advertised in the back pages of my Hay Chicago magazine.

Tonight when I was in the Red Line Tap I cornered Brattly. I tried to do so earlier in the week but I didn’t see him. He was probably hiding in the overflowing rat infested dumpsters that my new best friend and rival blogger Tomblogger Womannis is always blogging about. Well, I told Brattly that his taste in music is responsible for Rogers Park being a hell hole. I told him if he booked real bands like the Greatful Dead and Fleetwood Mac and maybe even Styx (to appeal to the hipster crowd) we’d all be happy. Brattly had the nerve to hell me that first of all, those bands were big stadium acts, not suitable for the Red Line Tap, and if they set up they’d go all the way from the back of the bar out to my Lunt Avenue condo and I would complain about having Stevie Nicks doing cocaine with Jerry Garcia on my kitchen floor. He also claimed that those bands broke up so long ago that I was probably still sober at the time. Brattly also told me that if I didn’t stop annoying all the patrons by telling them what a hell hole Rogers Park is that he’d kick me out.

We here at the Broken Liver are all about freedom of speech so I gave Brattly all the respect due to someone who has to work for a living and went right on telling everyone what a hell hole Rogers Park is whether they wanted to listen to me or not. This is where Michael James comes in.

The ex-hippie owner of the Heartland Café and the Red Line Tap comes in and tells me that if I don’t leave immediately he’s going to get Joe NoMooreFoieGras’s goon squad (otherwise known as the Chicago Police Department) on me. I was so rightfully furious that rather than staying there another second I went home immediately to tell you all about it on my blog.

Michael James – you’re going to regret your actions. Tomorrow there will be special guest postings from my new best friend and leader of the neighborhood Republicans Tomblogger Womannis. He’s going to blog all about you. You’re going to be sorry you ever messed with me.

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