Rogers Park Will Soon Be Rid Of Michael James And His Band Of Smelly Hippies

Hey All! It’s Tomblogger Womannis blogging from the crime ridden, liberal infested hell hole that is Rogers Park where I live thanks to affirmative action which prevents me from getting the high paying job which I deserve and that will allow me to move to a gated suburban community with my fellow Republicans.

It’s Sunday morning and all true Americans are at their suburban mega-churches. None of the liberals in Rogers Park are in church. They’re still in bed having dreams about Billery Clinton and Osama bin Laden. I’m not in church because I’m what the Republicans call an “Incomplete Christian”. That means that when the Rapture comes and Jesus exterminates all the Bush hating, Osama Obama worshipping liberals most of my relatives and religious brethren in Israel will die except for 144,000 of us who will save our sorry butts by becoming good Republican Christians just like President Bush. We aren’t supposed to do this till the Rapture comes so that leaves me free to blog away on my new best friend’s blog.

Braig said that I could write whatever I want as long as I don’t talk about how the pervert readers of his Hay Chicago magazine are all going to a Republican free hell (he wants their money) and as long as I let that smelly old hippy Michael James know that he’s in big trouble for kicking Braig out of his Red Line Tap last night. Michael James and all the other hippies on Rogers Park are in big trouble. As soon as I was off the phone with Braig I was on the phone with my good friend General B. Trayus. He’s the leader of American forces in Iraq and served under General Tommy Franks, the greatest military commander in all of human history except maybe Ollie North and George Bush himself.

As soon as General B. Trayus heard about the crime ridden hell hole or Rogers Park, infested as it is with liberals, hippies, socialists, communists and maybe even Muslims he was ready to get our Brave Young Men and Women out of Iraq where everything is nice and peaceful just like you see on the Fox News Network and over here to clean out Rogers Park. He promised me that they will do just as good of job as they did with capturing Osama bin Laden and securing Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction.

Hear that Michael James! Your days are numbered.

Any day now amphibious assault craft filled with the brave young Republicans of the U.S. Military will be storming the beaches of Rogers Park to join forces with the Tom Banannas and his Rogers Park Liberation Army and put an end to the reign of Michael James and his smelly hippies. When this is all over our great President Bush will stuff a sock in the crotch of his flight suit and land on an air craft carrier in Lake Michigan so all the soldiers and sailors and marines can get all worked up over his he man studliness and so that Billery Clinton and Osama Obama will know their days are numbered too.

Signed,

Tomblogger Womannis