Rogers Park is the bloggiest neighborhood on the planet and as the original Rogers Park blogger I frequently get asked if we need any more blogs and the answer is a resounding NO! You hear me! No More Blogs! This blog and my other blog are all you need to tell you what is going on in Rogers Park and the world.
Some people say that I have no credibility and that I'm just a neighborhood crackpot. They point out how I fought to keep Cafe Suron and the Morseland from opening and how years ago I claimed that the Dominicks at Gateway Plaza would close. Well, the Dominicks is still open and Cafe Suron and Morseland are still causing problems in the neighborhood although only my loyal readers will agree with me on that.
But loyal readers I have many of. One of my most loyal readers is Jostle_Lynn. She lives in a house right off of the Albion Hell Hole. She has her own blog (which I permit) where she talks about "renovating" the house. She makes it sound pretty nice but she knows that her house is really located in Baghdad West (or is it East?). She spends way more time on my blog than on hers. She knows who the better blogger is. Anyway, she complains about ads and garbage and posters and stuff stuck all over the mail boxes and light posts in Rogers Park but when people try and complain that flyers for the Broken Liver are the same sort of nuisance she lets them know that I am performing a valuable public service by advertising my blog which the other crap does not. One time I rode my crotch rocket through the Sullivan High school yard just when classes were getting out and people complained that I nearly killed some of the little hoodlums that hang out there. Well, it was Jostle_Lynn who let everyone know that I had to get home and blog some more about what a hell hole the area around her house is. I have lots of loyal readers like Jostle_Lynn. The other bloggers are jealous of me.
Anyway, its time for me to head down to the Red Line Tap where I am most nights talking about what a horrid place the Red Line Tap is and letting that nasty Brattly -- the Mooreon who schedules their music acts know that no one in Rogers Park likes the bands they have and telling them they better book the Rolling Stones and Fleetwood Mac and the Greatful Dead or we're going to all move to a neighborhood where we'll be happy.
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3 comments:
Your just so mean. I've been in tears since I read your blog. I told Steve that this blog is meaner than The Rogers Park Belch my good friend Tom Mannis has.
Steve wants me to quit blogging forever. Well I tried. I stayed offline for a total of 3 hours. Can you believe that? During that time I had three panic attacks, a mild psychotic event. I took my meds and then a walk down to the lakefront hoping to put my life into perspective.
I saw a mother duck and her cute little baby ducks. They just sat there fluffing themselves making darling little quacking noises.
I felt much better after I kicked the baby ducks into the water. Yeah, the mother duck seemed very upset, but I told her life was rough and the sooner those little duckies learned it, the all would be. I though about calling in a search and rescue after the soggy little duck bodies were pulled out into the lake. But then I said no. If the alderman wanted those poor little baby ducks saved, he should have life guards posted after Labor Day like Tom wants.
I hope when Tom's revolution happens in the 49th ward, we will get life guards at all the beaches in Rogers Park. Until then those ducks better watch out.
I am not mean Jostle_Lynn You better get back to telling everyone how wonderful I am or I just might stop blogging. What would you do if today, when I am sitting around my condo with my big belly hanging out between my tighty whities and my beater while other people (suckers) are at work I start looking at internet porn rather than writing about how everyone in Rogers Park except you and I is a crackhead, gang banger or prostitute? What would you do without me to make all your neighbors look bad?
Braig:
You are no longer a friend of mine! You are off my list. You are so bad, when my new best friend Tom Mannis starts his soon to be launched revolution, I am going to tell him you need to be classified as an enema combatant. Maybe they put you on some god awful island and keep you in the cage you belong in. And then after that he can bust all the other civil liberties of the people I hate most.
Braig, why don't you have a real job? I hear that now that Mannis' unemployment comp has run out and he's been denied SSI he will be looking for work real soon. And you need to do the same. Don't you have something more fulfilling in your life than to harrass me?
Yes, I know you like to post videos of pre-teen boys on bicycles who ride in your alley on the internet. (I'm sure the pedofiles love that stuff), but is it enough? You just can't sit at your window all day long with nothing to do but watch Jerry and Oprah.
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