Jostle_Lynn Is A Classy Chick

I was going to give you all a special surprise. I was going to tell all of you about a new health center that is scheduled to open in Rogers Park. I know none of you have hear of this because you get all your news from my blogs which are the only source of information you'll ever need. Some stupid loser named Blog Pants had the nerve to go and ruin the surprise by saying that people have been talking about this since way back in September and its even been in the News-Star and RP2000. Big deal Blog Pants. None of my readers waste their time with that crap. Blog Pants has been put in his place. Look at the classy way in which uber-toady Jostle_Lynn did it:

"I bet poopypants was the one who spolied Santa Claus for all his friends in grammar school too."

Everyone reading this blog needs to take a lesson from Jostle_Lynn. This is the way to interact with your neighbors. This is how you improve your community. This is how you show your intelligence.

Hate The Haters -- Special Message From Jostle_Lynn

Here is a special message from uber-loyal reader Jostle_Lynn

Dear Braig,

I know I said I wasn't going to blog anymore but I'm sitting here on a dreary Sunday afternoon in my miserable two flat in the midst of the hell hole that is Rogers Park with nothing to do. That lunkhead Steve is sitting in front of ESPN clad in just his boxers, scratching his fat hairy belly. I really hate that guy. I can't wait till we're married so I can throw the divorce papers in his face.

I've got to tell you how much I like the t-shirts you are selling on your other blog. "I was Shot in Rogers Park and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" and "I Got Gooned In Rogers Park". That shows so much love, compassion and caring for the community. That is, ironically, what has got me down.

We bloggers are so dedicated to our community. We blog and blog, morning, noon and night, telling the world what a horrid place Rogers Park is and what do we get in return? A bunch of nasty trolls leaving anonymous derisive comments and starting parody blogs. The cowards won't even use their real names. They think that just because you post anonymous messages sent to you talking about what a hell hole Rogers Park is that it is acceptable for people who think the neighborhood isn't such a bad place to do the same. Well, it's not.

I am sick and tired of their hate. I am sick and tired of people who think that "I was Shot in Rogers Park" isn't something that we should be saying. My message to the haters is that if you think you're so wonderful why don't you be like Braig and instead of working for a living spend your days blogging. And by the way, go jump off Pratt Pier.

Love,

Jostle_Lynn

Up And Up

My blogs continue to attract more and more readers. The number of page hits is at an all time high and growing every day. The number and quality of comments left by loyal readers continues to grow. Readers from all over the world tune into this blog and my other blog every day to find out what a hell hole Rogers Park is and how inept Alderman NoMooreFoieGras is.

Now some of you dorks are going to try and toss back at me previous statements I made about how I was thinking of giving up blogging because the number of page hits and comments were down. Well, you're idiots. The statistics speak for themselves.

One thing holds true, I have better things to do then write a neighborhood blog and fixing the Hay Chicago magazine website is not one of them. The Oasis bar is open far more hours than I spend there. I could be there right how sharing a few with Tomblogger Womannis and Shrill Morton but instead I am at home writing this and listening to my police scanner for more routine calls which I can hysterically report on my blog.

So, you all better be kissing my big stinky butt. Uber-loyal reader Jostle_Lynn had declared she was retiring her own blog but came back on-line real fast when she just couldn't resist the temptation to tell the world how wonderful I am. Jostle_Lynn is a model Rogers Park citizen. Everyone should act like Jostle_Lynn. With people like her in the world I never have to buy toilet paper.