I expect most of you scandal mongers came here to witness more of Womannis and Eastgard flinging pit bull poo at one another but you're going to be disappointed. We here at the Broken Liver are all about serious journalism and that is what you're going to get. Politics is the meat and potatos of serious journalism and it's time for a little neighborhood politics.
I just got off the phone with honeymooning uber-toady Jostle_Lynn and she had some interesting news which is exclusive to the Broken Liver. If you follow my blogs as closely as you should you will recall that Jostle_Lynn wanted failed, but hunky, aldermanic candidate James Ginderske to dance at her bachlorette party. Well getting the brawny former union electrician was no problem as he's been a bit short of work ever since I did in his aldermanic campaign with my highly effective attack blogging. "Ol' Blue Eyes" showed up as Jostle_Lynn's bachlorette party in his union worker gear and started to perform a standard bump, grind and strip routine. He starts to get close to doing the fully monty. He rips off his tear away jeans to reveal little bikini underpants. Written on the pouch (which according to Jostle_Lynn provided ample advertising area) is the slogan "Ginderske For State Senate".
Yes! This is how "Ol' Blue Eyes" choose to announce his candidacy for the seat of departing state senator Carol Ronen. What a classy guy. No wonder no one voted for him for alderman. Many questions remain. How much power will Joey have in the state senate with his front boy sitting there? Will "Ol' Blue Eyes" show this blogger the deference which he deserves? How much involvement will my rival blogger and archenemy, Tomblogger Eastgard, have in his new campaign? Will Ginderske continue to campaign entirely by doing bachlorette parties or will he make an effort to reach a wider section of the community? Will my new BFF, Tomblogger Womannis, be disloyal and leave my side to return to the Ginderske camp? Will a new Ginderske campaign bring about a reconcillation between former campaign co-workers and now bitter enemies Tomblogger Eastgard and Tomblogger Womannis? Stay tuned to the pages of the Broken Liver in the coming weeks to find out the answers to these and other important questions.
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G.N.O.M.E. Global Nexis of Mayhem Everywhere.
We just got off the phone with Tom Womannis. For those of you who don't know Tom, he's "the crack investigative reporter" for the Chi-Town Daily News. He's just finished a startling article about the Rogers Park Spelling Bee. Womannis really knows how to produce hard-hitting journalism.
Womannis wanted to interview the G.N.O.M.E.s about our Christmas songs. We thought we were going to be front and center of Chi-Town Daily News. Then we found out it was for his blog "The Rogers Park Stench."
So here's one Womannis, it's all about you...
Oh the parkway outside is frightful,
But our dogs are so delightful,
And since they just have to go,
Shit on Snow! Shit on Snow! Shit on Snow!
Your photos are stupid and freaking,
It's a shame you have no life worth speaking,
And since dogs just have to go,
Shit on Snow! Shit on Snow! Shit on Snow!
Have you seen the new Jostleblog? Truth is stranger than fiction.
Oh Tommyblogger, will you ever learn? I see that your pathetic blog is reporting that there are only two candidates on the ballot and Ol' Blue Eyes is not one of them. Can't you read? He's announcing it by showing his bikini briefs to the ladies of Rogers Park at bachlorette parties. If you were a better person maybe Jostle_Lynn would have let you join the rest of the ladies of Rogers Park at her bachelorette party. So why aren't you working on the Ginderske campaign for this year's electoral defeat? I can't believe that Jimmy is above getting campaign chairs that take midnight shits on public parkways. Thanks for this information. I've already dispatched Womannis on a stake out to get photos of you in the act.
Thanks for noticing. Sorry if I spoiled your fun with the Ginderske thing. I chose the poop time deliberately, hoping to force Womannis and/or Braig into getting up in the middle of the night to see whether I'll actually be there. One never knows...
Sorry, have to end it here. It's time to go feed my dogs some corn & peanuts.
G.N.O.M.E. Global Nexis of Mayhem Everywhere
Hey a-hole. Do you know what a plagerist is? It's you, you barrel of stinking slime.
Do you make a living taking other people's work and publishing it on other blogs without proper attribution? What's a matter with you? You don't have a creative thought in that measily pea-sized brain of yours do you?
Oh, wait, you call yourself a journalist. Ha ha. Give me something else to laugh at. Yeah, publish some more dog shit pictures why don't you. That's all your good for. Publishing shit pictures and taking other people's work and calling it your own.
You have now incurred the wrath of the GNOMES. We will wreak havoc upon you. Our little puppy Toto is going to shit everywhere you go.
So look out Braig.
Looks like the little prick from Edgewater, who has way too much time on his hands, is pissed. I'm lovin' it. rotflmho.
You'll be happy to know I'm expanding my operations to cover Edgewater too.
Oh, my we're shaking in our boots. Do you think you can get some more hard hitting pictures of dog and human shit? We can't wait.
G.N.O.M.E. Global Nexis of Mayhem Everywhere
Little Bummer Boys
Craig they told me, da dump a dump dump
Loves to watch dogs as they, da dump a dump dump
He can't get enough of that doggy shit, da dump a dump dump
His blog is filled with crap, da dump a dump dump
dump a dump dump, dump a dump dump
So to bother him, da dump a dump dump
I wrote this song.
Broken Heart is one big turd, da dump a dump dump
Mannis is an anal nerd, da dump a dump dump
Their rectal facination, da dump a dump dump
Makes me wonder if..?, da dump a dump dump
da dump a dump dump, da dump a dump dump
What a pair of stupid pricks, da dump a dump dump
They are so sick.
Craig will plagerize, da dump a dump dump
When he has no news, da dump a dump dump
Mannis videos are stupid and trite, da dump a dump dump
Voyerism gets his undies tight, da dump a dump dump
da dump a dump dump, da dump a dump dump
So to annoy them, da dump a dump dump
I've crapped on their lawn.
I can't use this crap. Get to work and come up with some better shit you little turd. Then I'll use it.
When you finally come up with something worth printing on the real blog - give me your real name so I can give proper credit?
G.N.O.M.E. won't do. lol
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