Sunday, December 2, 2007

Watch Out Hommies! Shrill Has Got A Gun

Pay attention hommies, hoodlets and bangers. Your days are numbered. Our own Shrill Morton has got a gun.

Check out my other blog. I've got a great picture of Shrill proudly showing off his new gun. What a man. You may think Shrill Morton is a total loser. He "works" for Jonny Quest Network Services, a company which specializes in showing the residents of Rogers Park how to turn on their computers and read my blog. When he's not taking pictures of lazy city laborers who share his work ethic his "work" day consists of walking around sticking advertising cards on all of the abandoned, stolen or about to be repo'd cars which litter the mean streets of Rogers Park. Despite all his efforts (or lack thereof) he can't afford a better neighborhood than Rogers Park. Shrill is an angry and bitter person. I know him well . We're regular drinking buddies at the Oasis.

Well, Shrill is feeling a bit better about himself. He now has a gun, some cool leather gloves and a picture on my other blog. Way to go Shrill!

7 comments:

Knightridge Overlook said...

Billy's Got A Gun (Lyrics)

Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound of my gun.
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done?
Dum, dum, dum it's the sound

Billy's got a gun
Billy's got a gun
His whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun
What did his computer do?
What did he put you through?
They said when Billy was arrested
they found him underneath a harddrive
But man, he had it comin'
Now that Billy's got a gun
he ain't never gonna be the same.

Billy's got a gun
Billy's got a gun
His long hair has come undone.
Now everybody is making fun.
Tell me now it's untrue.
What did his computer do?
He jacked a little bit of data
The dude has got to be so lame
They say the spell that he was under the lightning and the thunder knew that someone had to stop the rain

Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Billy's got a gun
Billy's got a gun
His long hair has come undone.
Now everybody is making fun.
What did his computer do?
It's Billy's last CPU
He had to take him down easy and put a bullet in the frame
He said 'cause nobody believes me. The 'puter was such a sleeze.
He ain't never gonna be the same.

Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah
yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Billy's got a gun
Billy's got a gun
Billy's got a gun
Everybody is making fun.

Billy's got a gun
His long hair has come undone.
Now everybody is making fun.
Because Billy's got a gun
Billy's got a gun
His long hair has come undone.
Now everybody is making fun.
Billy's got a gun

Unknown said...

too funny.. I could throw so much up on here about Shrill but because even though he is a douche and a piece of shit I still thinks he means well...give him a break

Toto said...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gun+Porn

Shrill's pic looks like gun porn to me. Here's what the urbandictionary says about gun porn:

"Gun Porn as a term meaning photos of guns that display them in the same carefully posed and lighted manner as the models in traditional pornography, has been around for a long time in firearms and shooting cultures."

Eewwwww!

Toto said...

Just imagine if you substituted a dildoe.

Knightridge Overlook said...

If you could smell the gun, you could notice that Shrill has in fact done some gun/dildo substitution. Thus the funny look on his face. He's sated & happy, but still wincing from what happened when the front sight passed back through his, um, when it again saw daylight.

Toto, you need to learn to do links. Gun Porn

Knightridge Overlook said...

An example of gun porn, with much better-looking people, and a diminished implication of firearms-related onanism.

Bill's picture sure does imply a strong imagination and a rich fantasy life. Bill should read Cryptonomicon. It's full of self-righteous dorks fantasizing about guns. His picture should be on the cover.

Toto said...

It's Poodles... Time for some Poodlings.

We hear from our crack-ed up reporter Tom Banannis he's tired of chasing sirens for his news, so he's looking for Radio Shake gift cards this holiday season so he can get a police scanner. Don't worry Tom, if you don't get enough gift cards, to get a scanner, the Shack still sells those neato crystal radio sets. We hear when Morseland’s done with spelling bees, they’re going to have a science fair, so get cracking.

And in honor of December 1st World Aids Day, Tom has resurrected the theology of blaming the victim. He still thinks aid in Africa “is spread by “ignorant heathworkers who do not wash their hands.” Tom that’s so ‘90s.

Two weeks ago, Tom Banannis so much time on his hands he actually stalked a bunch of old hippies. He still wants us to be riled up about them. Hey, Tom what are you going to do? Take away there Social Security and Medicare in a couple of years to make up for all the evil offences they committed?

Jocelyn -- you still haven't shut up have you. After promising us you'd shut down your blog, you're still boring us with trivialities. Who cares?

Speaking of shutting down ones blog, Braig, when are you going to shut your yap?

Shrill Morton. Can you hold it between your knees and go "Cock-a-doddle do?"