Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Laura Loserzader Is Smart

The people who read my blogs are the smartest people in Rogers Park (I'll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions about why this is true). If you are stupid enough to doubt what I am saying read this quote that fanatically loyal reader Laura Loserzader (aka Polar Coast) left on my other blog. "The interesting thing is that the presence of the institution [Loyola University] predeates the ruin of the neighborhood often by many decades. Loyola has been here since 1878."

See what a smart urbanist one of my readers is. Polar Coast shows that Rogers Park is the worst slum in the entire universe because Loyola University was opened here in 1878. We all know that slum boss Joe NoMooreFoieGras is responsible for all our problems ranging from the poo in the Morse Avenue el station to the fact that Tomblogger Womannis hasn't had a date since the Carter administration. But how did Rogers Park first get a slum boss like Joey? Because its a slum. Why is Rogers Park a slum? Because Loyola University is located here. We've been doomed since 1878. Me and my loyal readers demand that our Alderman close down Loyola University and plow its campus into the lake.

See how intelligent the people who read my blogs are? I think there's a connection between intelligence and taking me seriously.

4 comments:

Knightridge Overlook said...

Here's another one: penne ante. I myself prefer rotini ante or mostaccioli ante, but to each his own, I suppose.

CNB said...

I resent the dating comment. I had a hot date during the first Clinton Administration. Unfortunately, I married her. Why do I feel so comfortable confiding in you like this?

Hillary C said...

Tom, you don't need to be uncomfortable. Many men like you have private performance issues.

Certain medications can relieve some of these symptoms. But be sure to read and follow all directions, and if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, call 911. That way, Braig can listen to the call go out on this scanner and he can alert the neighborhood.

Knightridge Overlook said...

Even if the noodle is limp, there are ways to dry it out again.