This is background for those of you who haven't been long time readers of my other blog. About a year ago I ran an exclusive expose about how aldermanic candidate Don Gordon's teenage daughter was throwing wild parties complete with booze and nubile panty clad young things in the Gordon residence. I even had pictures I grabbed off Little Miss Sunshine Gordon's MySpace page. It was truly scandalous. It was so bad that I might have even voted for James Ginderske had he been a better dog sitter and had he let me be his campaign committee chair.
LMS Gordon's antics continue.
Early this morning I was walking home from the Oasis. I go there in the evenings now that Mooreon Brattly at the Red Line Tap has told me I am no longer welcome. He told me I was annoying the customers with all of my haranguing them with what a corrupt hell hole Rogers Park is. What a Mooreon. It was the Red Line Tap customers who were annoying me by refusing to pay full attention to all the important things I have to say.
I was walking up Sheridan Road when my alert eyes spot one of those vicious gnomes that I've been blogging about scampering under Tomblogger Eastgard's illegally parked truck. I crawled half way under the truck trying to get a photo of the illusive gnome for my blog when I hear a young female voice ask if i am all right. I told her "Of course not! I'm trying to take a picture of one of those deadly gnomes." She said "My gawd. You're even drunker than usual."
The voice was that of none other than Little Miss Sunshine Gordon herself.
I let Little Miss Sunshine have it. That is no way to talk to an important neighborhood blogger. I told her to show me some respect. Well, rather than backing down into cowed silence like the employees at Hay Chicago magazine do when I am nice enough to illustrate the many mistakes they make Miss Gordon has the audacity to go off on me.
She tells me that she isn't perfect but at least she's not drunk out of her mind. She tells me that her father isn't perfect either but at least he has the courage to stick his neck out and run for public office and instead of just constantly complaining about problems like we bloggers do he tries to offer up workable solutions.
That girl is bad news.
I told her that she's an evil seed but I am always willing to give problem children a second chance. I offered her the opportunity to be the Haymate of the Month in my Hay Chicago magazine. All I requested is that she come back to my condo with me and show me that she was centerfold material.
I don't clearly remember what happened next but I can only conclude that I was set on by a pack of vicious gnomes. I woke up on the sidewalk this morning all scraped up and bruised and battered (loyal Hell Hollers -- this is your cue to offer up lots and lots of sympathy, concern and admiration). Little Miss Sunshine Gordon was no where to be found. She must have run off and left me to fight the nasty gnomes by myself. She has no concern for Rogers Park.
The apple never falls far from the tree. That girl is bad news and I was right to use her to make her father look bad.
Blognotes: As I walked home this morning I saw a Pace "worker" sleeping in his official car. I could tell even through the closed window that he was passed out drunk. I've got photos of him on my other blog and am demanding that Pace fire him immediately for driving drunk on the streets of Rogers Park.
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G.N.O.M.E. [GLOBAL NEXUS OF MAYHEM EVERYWHERE
We have gassed Morse Avenue. Look at the effect it has had. Panic in the streets.
We are planning more mayhem soon.
That PACE worker, you think he was sleeping in his car? No. We are experimenting with Fairy Dust. Once sprinkle and you are down for the count.
Anyone female who exercises leadership qualities around Craig is asking for a beatdown. Or at least, that's how he seems to see it.
First of all doofus -- the name is Braig, not Craig. Second -- females want my leadership so I give it to them.
Dear Braig:
I'm new to Rogers Park, but I've been reading your blog for years and have never commented. I'm a 6th year senior at Loyola.
Almost every morning I barely get out of bed, get dressed and on my way to class. Don't think its because I don't want to go to class. I do want to go to class. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
However, recently my parents moved me to Rogers Park (the price of rentals is so much cheaper compared to the lushious pad they paid for in Lincoln Park).
This Rogers Park is a disaster. No cool boutiques, just a bunch of junky Mexican stores on Clark street. How many taco stands can you have?
Can you believe the amount of black that live here? Oh yeah there were some down in Lincoln Park, but at least they dressed like they were almost white.
Everytime I go down to the lakefront, there's some kook with a camera. One guy likes to take pictures of old men's butt smelly butt cracks. Talk about gas leaks.
And what's with these kids smoking pot on the street? Don't they know that's what the Forest Preserves are for?
Everybody here seems to be in a constant cranky mood, angry about everything and I think its beginning to wear off on me too.
I saw this PACE guy sleeping in his car this week. It made me so mad that he could sleep in and I had to go to class.
I now have to take the rickity white bus to my downtown classes because my folks won't pay for indoor parking my Bronco.
I can't wait to graduate and get out of here. It should only be another year or so.
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