Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Joe NoMooreFoieGras Loyalist Creates Shock And Outrage In Rogers Park

I was busy this morning taking pictures of the Red Line Tap. I want to show my loyal readers what a mess it is so that they all know Rogers Park is the worst slum on earth. I'm hard at work when that nasty tattoo covered, punk rocker, bar tender, "talent" booker Brattly comes out of the bar. He shouts "Hey Braig! If you want to show your readers something show them my new tattoo!" He turns around and drops his pants to reveal my face tattooed on his ass. Brattly gloats "Now I get to fart right in your face."

This is an outrage. The People of Rogers Park have had enough of Brattly's outrageous behavior. This past summer he and his nasty punk band, Roundsteak, took to the stage at the Glenwood Avenue Arts Fest to play an obscene song dedicated to me. It's a good thing that the only people at the poorly attended street fair were myself, failed aldermanic candidate Jim Ginderske (trying to look employed by passing out fliers to the non-existent crowd) and my rival blogger and archenemy, Tomblogger Eastgard (who was busy faking photos showing large crowds). Now Brattly is exposing his tattooed ass to me and dozens of Rogers Park children who were skipping school and hanging out around the Morse Avenue El Station.

I demand that Joe NoMooreFoieGras control his loyal supporter Brattly. I demand that Joey use some of the funds that he's stolen from us over the years to pay for removing the tattoo from Brattly's ass. This will not stand. I have half a mind to put on my pants and go up to Joey's office to give him a piece of my mind.

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