I need to keep this one short today. My new BFF, Tomblogger Womannis, is having a crisis. Yesterday he saw our rival blogger and archenemy, Tomblogger Eastgard, shoveling sand on Loyola Beach. Even though I assured TW that “Eastie” was probably just working out trying to get buffed up in the hope that I would let him be a centerfold for my Hay Chicago magazine he was inconsolable. TW is convinced that "Eastie" is trying to build a sand barrier to stop the planned amphibious assault that his friend General B. Trayus and the U.S. military plan to carry out on Michael James and his smelly band of hippies at the Heartland Cafe. TW blogged about this in a guest blog entry a few days back. Before I head over to TW's here's your "Broken Liver" news for the day.
Joe NoMooreFoieGras's neglect of his ward is obvious from the plague of fleas that has infested Rogers Park. The problem originated when fleas were disturbed and forced to look for a new home by the stealth teardown of a historic dog house on North Shore Avenue. Yesterday loyal reader, Proartillary, reported that his family was infested with fleas. As of this morning I have heard from over 300 more Rogers Park families who are covered with fleas. This is all the fault of Joe NoMooreFoieGras and his politically connected developers.
The flea plague could easily be taken care of if we had a good dog wash in Rogers Park but we don't. Joe banned them claiming that dogs don't like baths and washing them is cruelty to animals. Now look what has happened.
Blognotes: Here's a statement from Proartillary. "You may think that because I can't afford a better place for my family than slummy Rogers Park that I'm some sort of joke but I'm really an Alpha Male. I am! I really am! I'm going to do something. You wait and see!"
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2 comments:
Arrr! TW thinks he's a pirate now.
Hey, I peed on it first.
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